mommy advice needed
so i'm 2 weeks into being a mommy, and i can probably count the number of hours i've slept in those 2 weeks with the digits god gave me. i'm running on some foreign fuel and somehow have gone from 6 small meals a day to barely eating 2. i know i should eat more, since i am nursing. but i haven't figured out how to eat and hold a newborn at the same time.
izzy is getting better at sleeping in the bassinet next to our bed, rather than in our bed. she's only really slept in our bed a few times, which is good. we're going to graduate her to the crib later.
anyway, i am concerned about whether or not she has colic or is suffering from acid reflux. she makes these grunting, elephant-like noises all the time. at first, i thought they were cute. now, they worry me a bit after reading symptoms of reflux in infants. she's also started these long crying jags recently, and they have been so frustrating. she'll sort of stop if i rock her, but not always. i notice she burps sometimes when i try to comfort her, so i thought it was gas. but it doesn't always seem that that's what it is. she has also coughed a few times when nursing, as if she swallowed wrong. when she does that, it scares the bejeezus out of me.
i could call the doctor and probably get a professional diagnosis, but i am always interested in what moms have experienced (my baby's doc is not a mom, but a dude). has anyone else experienced this with their babies? did you do anything specific to bring comfort to your baby? how did you stay sane during all the crying? help, please!
p.s. happy mommy's day too!
8 comments:
Sorry - I wrote a small novel:
Those first few weeks, although wonderful, are also horrible. The lack of sleep, the wacked out hormones, and dealing with this new creature are all so difficult that you don't know if you'll ever survive. I remember thinking, "I'm not going to get a good night's sleep for at least 18 years."
You should check with the doc about the colic. But, they all have some sort of problems when they are so little - they're experiencing all these new things! For the first time Izzy has to eat, pee, and poo all on her own and her little body isn't used to it. Lucas was pretty gassy, probably b/c I didn't burp him enough. I tried that gripe water stuff, but I don't think it really helped.
Try keeping her perched up a little - maybe in her car seat or bouncer. Does she ever sleep in her car seat? Some kids really like it. You could also use a sling or Bjorn so you can get things done if she likes being held.
I wanted to buy a thing called an Amby Bed, but Ben wouldn't let me. I think it looks rad, though.
My fave things we did with Lucas are: Miracle Blanket (online only), we use a radio turned to fuzz for white noise in his room (they're used to so much noise in your belly & he can't hear us when it's on, too), and I put a blackout blind i his room so it's dark.
As far as staying sane, it's hard. I cried a lot. I didn't eat enough or sleep enough... even when he was asleep, I was too worried to sleep. Let Pete and your friends help - you might think your friends won't know what to do, but they can handle a few hours if you need a break. The baby can have a bottle, it will be ok. If you can't take it anymore, put the baby in her crib for a few minutes and go take a break. Scream into a pillow, etc. Go for a walk (with the baby). Call a friend to vent - don't be afraid they will think you are crazy. I've had several friends who had crazy thoughts, but didn't even tell their husbands b/c they felt too guilty. Baby Blues only last a few weeks until your hormones are back to normal, so you should only have another week or so of crazy hormones.
I really wish I would have kept a journal of those first months so I could remember everything... It's so hard, but it does end, I promise.
Happy Mother's Day to you. I hope you got a nap in!
Good luck. If she really does have bad reflux, the doc can prescribe some meds.
suzy is my kind of mom!
I feel like that first year Dan & I did everything to just get some sleep. That included letting Alan sleep with us for a couple months. He would start out in the bassinet and finish the night in our bed. When I was ready to have him sleep by himself it was still a cool time of year (a lot like now) I took a heating pad covered it with a blanket turned it on low and let it warm up then before I put him in I turned it off. This worked like a charm. Alan, also, liked to sleep in the bouncy chair and car seat during the day.
Eat every chance you get, crumbs won't hurt the baby.
Don't forget to call!!!
You are doing great!
You are the Ninja mom!
Missy
So sorry, I wish I had some good advice, however, Gwen was a total nightmare as an infant, and I remember thinking "my life is over." I didn't stay sane during Gwens "colic" if that is what it was. I went crazy! Sometimes I just had to lay her in her crib, and leave for a little bit. Or I'd vacuum so I couldn't hear her (which actually calmed her down too). Just do whatever you have to do stay calm and "happy." She doesn't need to be held all of the time, and crying doesn't hurt her.
when Gwen was a newborn, someone recommended some stuff called Gripe Water. I don't know if it was all in my head, but I swear it helped. In my opinion, anything is worth a shot. Oh, and Gwen had to be wrapped super tight. Do you swaddle Izzy?
Sorry for the long comment. I really don't know what I'm talking about.
i do swaddle izzy, but she is so good at getting her arms out of the blanket. she really likes her hands by her face. i looked at that miracle blanket that suzy suggested, and i think that might be a handy item to have. we're also thinking of getting some pillow thingie from target that will keep her head elevated a bit for relief.
right now, the symptoms she has that suggest reflux are: coughing/gagging while feeding, some spitting up (but don't most babies do that anyway), and heavy swallowing. she isn't vomiting, which is good. i just worry about aspiration of the milk when she does cough while feeding. she isn't having trouble feeding or gaining weight that i can tell, so i am going to wait to call the doc. in fact, she wants to eat on cue all the time.
and don't be afraid to leave a novel for me to read on this post. i appreciate all the advice that you all can give me. and you all know more than i do, so your experiences help keep me from feeling like i am the only one who is or has "suffered" from a fussy baby. thanks for your comments.
this is a super long comment and i know your time is precious. so, i won't feel bad if you don't read it all. :)
everyone's suggestions are really good. reflux is hard. henry had it, too. it's scary to see your baby gagging! in fact, while we were in the hospital, he started vomiting and the nurse had to suction his throat out. his doctor said it has something to do with the baby's digestive system being not quite developed enough. the part in their throat that is suppose to close after they swallow, doesn't close all the way. our doctor said there's only cause to worry if they don't have enough poops and peeps everyday because that means they aren't getting enough food (well, he used more doctorish terms) . i think he gave us some prevacid, but i don't think i really used it. it's mostly a matter of time for their little bodies to catch up to all the functions they are supposed to do. but, you might think about recording all of izzy's diaper changes for a few days. that way, if you do go to the doctor, you'll have something concrete for him to evaluate.
i did tried a few things that did seem to help.
*i put a rolled up towel under one end of his crib. it propped him up on an angle so he wasn't completely horizontal. i always get super paranoid about pillows and suffocating. this trick also works well if they have a cold or stuffy nose.
*swaddling helped, too. if she likes her hands by her face, you might try swaddling with one arm out or both arms out. i really liked the swaddle blankets from target. boppy makes one and so does kiddopotamus that velcro. i liked these kind a lot.
*if you are nursing, something you are eating might be giving izzy some gas. try avoiding dairy, spicy, or foods that can cause gas like broccoli. i know, what else is there to eat? if you eliminate somethings from your diet and don't notice any difference it's probably not what you're eating, but at least you can rule it out.
*this last trick saves my life, but will probably make some people want to call cps on me. i put my kids to sleep on their stomachs. i do try to get them to sleep on their backs at first and am very familiar with the literature on sids, but they never sleep more than a couple hours (like three at most) on their backs. i am CRAZY without more sleep than that. after i start putting them on their stomachs, they sleep much, much better-- like five or six. both of my babies were sleeping ten to twelve hours through the night by seven weeks. it's the one thing i've found that makes a real difference. i think it has something to do with making them feel secure and maybe it helps them to feel full longer or the pressure on their stomach helps their gas feel better. i have also heard new research that shows putting babies to sleep on their backs causes their skulls to become misshapened. it might be worth trying or looking into.
i know exactly what you mean about eating. it is really hard to fit in good meals when you are completely consumed with keeping this new little person alive and comfortable. didn't your relief society bring you meals?? does pete's mom live by you? call for help! everyone who has a baby knows how hard it is and should be completely willing to bring you a meal, rock izzy while you shower or nap or eat, or give you a break to go out for a little bit. if you don't take care of yourself, how will you have the energy to take care of izzy? NO one is a super mom-- you'll get by with a little help from your friends. :) i tried to have things i could grab quickly that didn't need to be prepared. it's worth the extra pennies to buy the apples already cut up or a fruit and veggie tray that you can keep on your counter and munch on all day. i think i ate a lot of dried fruit, almonds, packaged salad and tuna fish after lucy was born. anything quick and easy that you don't have to think about or take time to fix.
have you read the baby whisperer? it has a ton of suggestions. i hope you can call me when you get a minute. i feel like it's been ten thousand years since i've talked to you! hang in there! it WILL get better!
xo
becca
I totally feel like the first 2 or 3 months are by far the toughest so hang in there cause it does get better. Lila hated to be swaddled from the beginning so that never worked but she did sleep way better in her car seat or with a pillow- horrible I know. She was just always inches away from me so I didn't worry. We did give her a binki right away and it was a total life saver and she never had any nipple confusion. Crying is so so normal so don't feel bad if you have to let her cry for a while if you need to eat or take a bath or do whatever you need to. It is just so important that you don't go crazy trying to do everything. Music or a sound machine helped a ton with Lila and my sister even used the noise of a blow dryer for her colic baby. Anyway, sorry for the long comment. I promise life gets easier.
Amanda,
My advice is simple and not yet refined. Listen to your mommy instincts. You know your child the best and you can tell between a good feeling and a persistent it's-not-good feeling. I also call it common sense, not to say you don't have any, but look at the facts and remember how your little Izzy is normally. Also, I know it's only been two weeks, but you're with her all the time so that gives you plenty of merit.
Keep up the good work, you care and that makes you a good mommy.
Mo
I take all my parenting knowledge from daniel plainview. Put some whiskey in her bottle.
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