dear crazy people...

i am a craigslist poster by necessity. i don't get my thrills or make lots of money out of it. i think that's kind of the point.

yes, i am posting an ad to find a home for my cat. yes, i prefer not to have to clean up after her anymore. yes, she is old and i know it's harder for older cats to find homes. yes, she is free but that doesn't mean you will not have to pay me in some way to take her.

do i think it's risky to post on craigslist? sometimes. am i scared someone will take my cat and use it in a weird experiment, like in "the reanimator?" it crossed my mind. do i feel bad about supposedly "dumping" my cat? um, no. cuz, duh! i'm not dumping it. i am actively finding a home you crazyface. that's what the ad is for. dumping means i am driving out to an abandoned field and throwing the cat out the door.

i like to think that if i were to "dump" the cat, she would meet a happy-go-lucky pug who would do anything to save my cat's life. they would go on adventures through the forest and meet other animals and even cuddle in the snow. there might even be a scene where my cat jumps off a cliff and dives into the frigid ocean too. who knows?

anyway, i appreciate all the time you take out of your cat-licking days to send me an email about how lame i am. it really makes my day. to make it easier for you, i can just bring the cat by your cat hotel and save us all the trouble. sound good? thanks.

sincerely,

cat dumper